You are walking down the street. Someone bumps into you. They spill coffee on your shoes. Instantly, the words fly out of your mouth:
“Oh, I’m sorry!”
Wait. Why did you apologize? You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just standing there.
This is the “Sorry” Reflex. It is a verbal tic. Unfortunately, it makes us sound less confident. It makes us feel smaller than we actually are.
It Is Not Politeness, It Is Protection
Why do we do this?
Over-apologizing is rarely about manners. Instead, it is usually a defense mechanism. It is a way of saying, “Please don’t be mad at me.”
Basically, we use ‘sorry’ as a shield. For example, we apologize for asking a question. Also, we apologize for having feelings.
Basically, you are apologizing for taking up space. And you need to stop.
3 Ways to Break the Habit
You can be kind without being a doormat. Here is how to swap the “Sorry” for something stronger.
1. The “Thank You” Swap
This is the most powerful hack for work and relationships.
Do you want to apologize for an inconvenience? Instead, thank the person for their patience.
- Don’t say: “Sorry I’m late.”
- Say: “Thank you for waiting.”
This changes the vibe completely. “Sorry” makes it about your failure. “Thank you” makes it about their generosity.
2. The “Oops” Rule
If you make a tiny mistake (like dropping a pen or tripping), do not apologize.
The Fix: Say “Oops.”
First, ‘Oops’ acknowledges the mistake without accepting shame. Second, it keeps the situation light. You dropped a pen; you didn’t commit a crime.
3. Use Silence Instead of Filler
We often say “sorry” just to fill awkward silences. If you ask a waiter for extra napkins, you might say, “Sorry, can I have more napkins?”
Try this: Just ask. “Could I have some napkins, please?”
It feels scary at first. However, you will realize something important. People actually respect directness. You don’t need to apologize for having needs.
Conclusion
Your words shape your reality.
If you tell the world you are “sorry” all day long, you start to feel like a burden. So, save the apologies for when you actually hurt someone. For everything else, just be you.
Tell me in the comments: Do you apologize to inanimate objects when you bump into them? Because I definitely said sorry to a mannequin once.
